... two years later....

Dr Zoidberg: How do I look?
Bender: Like whale barf.
Dr Zoidberg: Then the illusion is complete.

Cripes... two years since I have blogged... Just happened to see if my blogspot was still in cyberspace and I'll be... it is!!

Where do I start... Well... It is Friday night and I am sitting in watching episodes of Futurama. I am living in Sydney to enjoy city life once again only I need to save some money to finance good times :-)

I have started playing Aussie Rules Football... No, I haven't coiffeured a mullet and grown my leg hair. It seems that the UNSW Stingrays have a nice team of gals who like to get down and dirty.. No holding back! As I was walking out onto the field on my first match I was filled with an immense dread that I was going to get pumelled.. This was largely due to the fact that I was following an opposition player out onto the oval that was just under 6ft, tattoed, had an undercut and dreadlocks and arms that had definitely been sculpted by some form of weight training. Amazonian springs to mind now... Holy Shit sprang to mind at the time!! Fortunately, I think adrenaline kicked in and I gradually grew increasingly accustomed to tackling ... maybe more than just accustomed... i was quite delighting in it.. not being of the 'meek' build, my tackling was rather effective... to think it has taken me 28 years to try an actual game of AFL!!

That night I celebrated with the girls which was fun. Until about ??midnight when I picked up my backpack to go and was advised by someone about the 3-6-9 hour sleep rule. I think it went something like you need to get a 'multiple of 3 hours of sleep' and at this point I think that meant that I was to stay longer and get three hours sleep... and I would be fine... because it was a multiple of three... it seemed logical at the time... well... either i didn't have a multiple of three hours sleep or that theory is a crock of shit... I tend to think the latter.

So.. I'm going to tell you a little story.. I have to think of one first... right... a few funnies.. I would have to say that the funniest comment of the week was actually last Saturday when I walked into see a patient who was in retrospect a little confused... her first question being... "excuse me love, but am I dead?" ha ha! I politely replied no... and I am definitely no angel..

So I am trying to grow some pot plants at the moment to give me a touch of 'country'. In my mind I was to have a balcony full of flourishing greenery that gives the feeling of instant wholesomeness. Unfortunately, the little seedlings have a touch of 'stuntedness' and haven't grown past an inch high. The fruits of thy labour could garnish about one hors d'oeuvre. I have given them all of the things that they require (i think) light, water, occassionally beer and even some quite rank smelling 'dynamic lifter'. Unfortunately, I think in this day and age plants have grown immune to natural goodness and require a good synthetic fertiliser to get them up and running... I am wondering if I need to give up on all this enviro-wholesomeness and give it a lashing of bright blue aquasol...

At the moment, this is my news...??!!

More to housesitting than just a house

They say there is a ghost in every house and if you make peace with him, he will stay quiet.

Hola...! Como estas...? Me no blogged for very long time ay? There has been many a time when I think "By gumboot... I should really blog that!" For example when I was teaching an 80 year old amputee how to drive his new gopher. To cut a long story short it almost ended in tears, broken bones, scratched walls and a dent in the managers shiny new car....

Last weekend myself and Alicia became the proud new owners of a 10kg block of Cadbury's dairy milk chocolate. The moral of this story is never bid after several glasses of champagne. We have decided to have a 'fondue dinner party' so keep an eye out for the invites. We are looking for a fondue pot that is big enough.

Otherwise I am actually working rather hard despite my committment to work part-time and enjoy "life" as it were... Instead I am working about 5 and half days and don't have a life... :-) Well... always seem to make time for a few leisurely outings...

The horses... I thought sheep were stupid but I would have to say that I would prefer that than the malicious and cunning nature of horses... especially ponies. At present I have been bestowed the responsibility of 'head house-sitter' at a beautiful home overlooking Victor Harbor. Unfortunately with this privilege comes two horses that require feeding. What I wasn't told was that the Pony is the devil incarnate who has learnt the art of escapism. Twice now I have found that the pony has chewed through the electric rope (which is off but I have no doubt that this wouldn't make a difference) and gotten into a lovely luscious grassy area. To get the pony back into the yard I had to take down the rope but whilst doing this the other horse ran into the lovely luscious grassy area... Might I add... I was on a time line! I had a house warming to get to... I had a sprained ankle and ... (wasn't going to mention this but...) Douglas had eaten rat bait and needed to go to the vet (obviously he wasn't dying at my feet but merely needed to spew and a course of medication). Anywho... It took me a good hour and a half to get them in. They new exactly what I was doing and weren't having a bar of it. They would get to the gate way stand there teasing me and then walk off. @##!!$#!!!!! I tried to lasso them, spook them (bad idea), sweet talk them but like the mere male ... a way to a horses heart is through food. Eventually I think they were full up on lovely luscious grass and meandered through to nibble at a bit of lucerne I had thrown on the ground in disgust. That was the first time. The second time was much the same and required me walking around in my dressing gown and boots "re-wiring" the electric fence... I hope knots still conduct electricity... in a non-hazardous way...

Anyway... enough of my drivel. Does anyone want some marmalade or plum jam?!?!

April...

Though you might hear laughin', spinnin' swingin' madly across the sun. It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run. And but for the sky there are no fences facin'. And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme. To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind. I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you're Seein' that he's chasing. Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me. I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me. In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Jeeeezzzuzzz... it has been over 6 months since I have left the UK... oh how the time flies and nothing much changes. Still madly trying to decide what I want to do with my life. If I had a dollar for every brilliant idea that I came up with i'd be a millionaire. Unfortunately there seems to be so many that I just think myself into feeling overwhelmed with possibility.

Nursing home diaries... go to work the other day to find all the residents sitting around the table eating birthday cake. In hindsight the look on their faces wasn't awe of the beautiful birthday party but awe(kwardness). Everyone was trying to act seemingly delighted to be part of the celebrations of the resident who was fast asleep in his cloud chair; complete with a birthday cake hat skewed on top of his head. Meanwhile the 'activities co-ordinator' was calling out to him..... Gordon... it's your birthday.... wake up.... i need to take a photo.... It turns out he had been asleep the whole time... a birthday to remember....

Had my first netball match of the year... we lost by 2 goals unfortunately which was made all the worse by me having blisters on my feet about 2.5cm in diameter. Fortunately I medicated them well with Coopers Pale Ale despite telling everyone that I am now a non-binge drinker.. I guess these things take time to sink in. In true irresponsible young adult fashion my mother kindly picked me up... isn't it funny how things tend to regress at times. Cath this one is for you... leading up to the netball season we had some trial matches organised. A couple of Saturdays ago I had decided to be relatively sensible leading up to the trial match therefore only had 3 beers on the Friday night and went to see a movie (although I did have a curry which probably wasn't the best idea); Sat am warmed up with a hit of tennis; shaved my legs; strapped my ankles; so on and so forth. Arrived at netball fully kitted out in bodysuit only to be greeted by bewildered looks. "Ummm... why are you dressed in your bodysuit.....????" ..... "Don't we have a trial match...?" "No... it's just training...." ...

A lesson to be learned... always fill your car up with petrol when the gauge is flashing. Just got to work... after running out of petrol 20km out of Victor Harbor. When I noticed this about 3 km from home I probably should have turned around... Fortunately after leaving a message at work.. running to various rural farms to locate petrol, jumping fences in my work attire and new $350 boots I learned that I did not in fact have an 830am patient and had plenty of time to meander to work... agghhhh nothing like a good start to the day....

South Australia Social Scene

Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit.

As far as weekends go mine was.... well.... pretty much the same as most other weekends. Friday night I had Spanish yet again. I do believe that if I wasn't paying Patty she would tell me that I am a lost cause.... in more ways than one. It just so happens that over the past few months I have had a spell of misplacing/losing personal belongings including my phone, cardigan, voucher and on more than one occassion my spanish folder. The last and final time that I did this was at the Persian Garden during the festival where I left it amongst the persian cushions and rugs in a little Persian booth. The next day Norm kindly went to find it for me where in fact he did locate ONE page containing the spanish verb conjugations of "hablar"........ folded into a paper plane.... well... I hope they had a good time with the other 100 or so pieces of paper and irreplaceable notes that I had worked so hard to establish.

On Saturday I spent 6 valuable hours of my life clipping "R" clips on a fence that Dad is putting up. I would like to be able to say that I am better person for it but I would be lying. In fact a part of my soul may well have been lost with the pure tediousness of the task but for my time I convinced the Gazman to continue with the construction of Lake Yankaponga. All is going well. Dad did strain a muscle around his chest which we concluded was a heart muscle due to him suffering from weaklingopathy. Saturday night we attended the 'Celebrity Chef Dinner' at Normanville where we sat amongst a very diverse mix of the South Australian community........

Maria came alone and was sitting to my left. I decided to strike up conversation and see what brought her to Normanville. Suprisingly it was Manu Fidel... celebrity (French) chef....!!! As it turns out Maria works at Adelaide Arcade for the Big Issue which assists less fortunate people by employing them to sell their magazine. She had saved up and bought the (expensive) tickets, caught the bus down and paid for two nights accommodation. She was extremely excited about meeting Manu and getting his autograph for her 12 year old son. After a few glasses of wine she explained that she not only wanted to taste Manu's food but also to 'pick his brain about the meaning of life'.... now I have never seen his show but I feel that I must. I have visions of him saying things like....'and with each rasher of bacon that you fry delicately and to perfection you will realise that life is not like a box of chocolates but a big fry up with extra beans.' By all accounts she had a ball. So much so that at 230am Tina had to ask her and a few others to finish up for the evening. Mother dearest was sitting next to Rod and Marg who were celebrating their 1st wedding anniversary. Rod is 56 and a garbage collector at Mitcham and Marg is 58 and works in a factory. Rod and Marg are still very much in the touchy feely stage of their relationship. On the dance floor I was quite stunned when I turned around right at the moment when Rod had his mouth wide open, tongue engaged for action, going in for the pash of all pashes. I think Rod and Marg also had an enjoyable night..... although judging by the way they were feeling each other up, a more private setting e.g. a bedroom may have been more appropriate. Also on the table was a Danish man and his family who made the most of the unlimited wine available. It was discovered during our conversation that on his travels to Australia he spent time with a friend who stole a boat from Denmark and sailed across the sea escaping from the police. At one point I remember looking over and seeing his wife Maria who (suprisingly enough) has Italian parents... as does (suprisingly enough) the other Maria... deep in conversation. As with any good Italian conversation it was rather emotional and revolved around relationships, her son and family affairs. Maria (Big Issue Maria) ended up in tears but not for long as she found refuge in her large beaker of .... I think it was muscat by that stage as everything else had been drunk... As you can imagine a great evening was had by all.... and that was just our table.... I am assuming that most other people had a good time as by this point they had tied MASSIVE GOLD BOWS around their heads and waists out of the table settings. Just a few highlights of a rather bizarre evening was Mum injuring her knee dancing; Dad doing a 'lift' with Mum as a finale to a dance... Dad and Michael asking for bread to mop up their dregs at a celebrity chef dinner, Mum offering Graham some bread.... mopping up Dads dregs.... giving it to Graham who then ate it.... (It worries me that he is a garbage collector).

I would also like to warn members of the public that if they use black adhesive to stick plastic onto a pond please either use gloves or ensure that you don't have functions to attend or a job in which people see your hands. After scrubbing our hands for about 40 minutes in turps Dad and I had to dicreetly leave our hands under the table at the (formal) celebrity chef dinner.... I am also very grateful that most of the time people are facing down when I am working on their backs/necks.... but as one client said to me today.... if you paint your entire fingernails black you could just go with the 'goth' look... genius!!!

Another funny story... today when I was treating a girl we were talking about the hospital at Victor Harbor and I mentioned that I was working there on Tuesday to which she replied... Oh.. are you a nurse............................................... to which I replied.................................. no....................guess again............................. (thankfully she got it right!!!)

Alright.. enough bullshit...

Moley moley moley

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?

Apes don't read philosophy.

Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

It would be lovely to have a week off work except for the fact that I can't leave the house. To be truthful I could leave the house but I would have to wear a paper bag over my head or be ridiculed about having steristrips plastered all over my face. I guess there is always short term loss for long term gain (as a model that is...!!!) The thing that I keep going back to is now I will be able to watch the 'moley moley' scene on Austin Powers without cringing. Although... I am now concerned that I will have similar troubles with the movie 'Scarface'.... Now a scar always needs a good story. I am debating whether or not to have 5 different stories for each scar or one for the whole lot i.e. as I was pressing down the coffee plunger it shattered and shards of glass impaled my face.....???

Since my last blog i have in fact had another 'bike incident'. I was going for a ride on my recently borrowed roadbike early on a Saturday morning when I decided to turn around and head back home. I must have turned too sharp as I started to fall to the ground. It is amazing how fast thought processes work. Mine went like this... shit I think i'm falling, gotta get my feet out of the clips, crap.. they're stuck, well.. if i'm gonna fall i'm gonna fall.... eugh. At this point I am laying on my side, feet still clipped into the pedals with an extremely sore elbow and ankle.

Still living with the folks, doing the usual stuff. Work is going well. Still struggling at Spanish. Trip to Canada coming along nicely. New veggies planted. Compost bin erected no thanks to my father. Alicia crossfire back in town bless her lovely heart. Laneway festival next weekend. Hopefully scars healed.

Last weekend I decided to have a rather sophisticated Friday night consisting of Spanish, followed by wine and nibbles with Normster. Well... 4 bottles of wine later and a message from Sav and we were at the Lotus lounge. Fortunately, my memory extends beyond this point unlike Norm. Highlights were being tapped on the shoulder by Norm from behind the bar only to then watch him be escorted out of the door.... More alternative dancing but made all the better with Sav going one to one with me on the dance floor... wokawow... night ends with crazy face masks and dancing on a table. Sophistication was definitley not the end result. Not to be deterred I will continue trying.

What I love about this blog is that nobody reads it... shazzzzaaammmmmmmmm :-)

2008: year of the potato.

Coughlin's law: never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far away she is, she'll always hear you.

So... not much happening really but felt that I should really blog considering I haven't done it for about a month. I have managed to get a hold of a new bike after mine was stolen whilst I was overseas. I have gone from being the proud owner of a relatively nice road bike to an ever so slightly bitter owner of a rusted old repco complete with rusted old bell. I shouldn't complain as it was given to me for free but one has to consider that there is a reason for it being gratis. I took it into town the other day and was feeling quite cool in a "retro" kind of way until I got the wheels stuck in the tramline on the corner of King William St and Greenhill Rd. Fortunately I managed to stay upright but not without a few panicked squeals and amused looks from people waiting at the traffic lights.

I have been wondering... are carsalesmen naturally untrustworthy, smarmy, cons or does a caryard bring out the worst in people. I should have known better... never trust a grey haired man who dyes it a garish shade of orange. To cut a long story short... I have instead purchased a black Toyota Yaris after basically going on a rally car test drive around Mt Barker. Picture me wide eyed, panicked, fearing for my life.... "YES! It does take the corners well doesn't it....." (our father who art in heaven .....) "AHA... it is quite amazing that you can go from 0-100 km/hr in a matter of seconds...." (hallowed be thy name)

At present I am housesitting for a colleague of mine at Victor Harbor. I am temporarily responsible for 2 horses, a cat and a home with amazing views overlooking the ocean. Since my arrival I have been sensed some hostility from the cat. Mind you she is 14, quite physically impaired and most probably very stuck in her ways. She was quite distressed by my singing and dancing... so much so that she started hissing at me and then went and hid under the bed. I am now working at building bridges as I would hate for her to lose the will to live. Phil, Anke and Ben would never forgive me.

So.. lifes going A-OK. Keeping busy. I am really looking forward to the up and coming Fringe Festival, Womadelaide, Laneway festival etc. More things to spend my money on. I have taken to filling in an excel spreadsheet recording my expenditure. Basically I have come to the conclusion that either alcohol is exorbitantly priced or I drink exorbitant amounts...

I have been trying to think of something profound that has happened to me or a lesson learned over the past month. The only thing I can think of is... when you take a resident for a walk outside the nursing home grounds make sure the doors are unlocked or there is a way to get back into the residential facility.

Reasons against being designated driver

I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

On my reccommendation do not volunteer to be designated driver at a family wedding. What may seem a dignified event is sure to turn into mayhem. Whips and all.



Arrival time: 1300... met with drinks, overlooking the beautiful beach at Port Elliot. Lovely ceremony to join Jon and Dayle in marriage. 1315: downward spiral. But as Tristan said (slurred) at about 1700... 'at least we are on some sort of spiral'. 1500: whip cracking on road 1600: whip cracking in Elliot Hotel beer garden generously pruning the bushes and trees. 1700: Mum, Krystal and Rhianna dancing to lebanese music in her jeep 1800: more whip cracking, Dad receives nasty whip mark on chest thanks to Tristan 1800: Tristan serenades the crowds 1900: Move inside away from the masses 2000: I put my foot down and ask Tristan not to remove tinsel from dart board. State that it is time to leave. 2130: Finally move about 10m out to door to car park only to start up with the bloody whip cracking again.... Finally arrive home to have a well earned glass of wine except everyone is either not feeling to well or off to bed.... Peace at last...!

Not much else happening... Veggie patch coming on nicely. I invited mum and dad to share my beans and zucchini the other night only to be told that... we really need some red meat darling... hence the 1m x 1m lamb chop they proceeded to eat...! Some people just dont see the nutritional value in eating minute, rather dismal looking ORGANIC vegetables. My new philosophy is the smaller and more pathetic looking the better!! Surely the taste is just more concentrated?!?!

Dementialympics

Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead.

Went to do a mobility assessment on a nursing home patient who happens to also suffer from dementia. When I asked her if I could take her for a walk she looked quite offended and said that she didn't really want to. After much coaxing we set off on our stroll and after about 5 metres she turned to me and said 'I can actually run'. Now.. before I had a chance to really comprehend this or do anything about it she was off... striding out down the corridor. Fortunately this lady is actually relatively young and fit or not so fortunate as I had to catch her up!! She had fantastic running technique.. symmetry, arms pumping, high knees... Needless to say she passed her mobility assessment with flying colours.. she probably would have passed an elite level running assessment..

Capoeira is still proving difficult. Especially the flexibility component. The other night I just about put my hip out doing a kartwheel. The loud popping sound worried both me and one of the instructors. I am still suffering and haven't been able to make it tonight!! I think I should stick to ball sports.

Visited good old Booleroo on the weekend. Dry and dusty as ever. Had a great time catching up with my oldest friends although got slightly out of hand. Although.. admittedly I didn't end up dancing on the bar unlike those who shall not be named. There are a few things that become more apparent to me with time. One of those is there are some things you never learn. Hence why.. despite my raging headache driving back to Adelaide I will no doubt enjoy a glass or a few to many glasses of wine at some point in the future. The other is that with time I just realise more and more that I have a whole lot more to learn.

So..it's been a while..

I mean, can you really trust another human being, Greg?

Yeah, I think so.

No. The answer is you can not.

Back in Oz living the dream... Dreaming I must have been when I thought that I could live with my parents 1 hour away from Adelaide amongst nature and trees and... more nature and trees.

To find meaning in my life I have decided to take Spanish and Capoeira lessons. Bit of a South American theme going on. Capoeira is... interesting... it seems to require a combination of strength, flexibility, coordination and a whole lot of other things that I seemingly don't have. In fact.. to make it even more difficult one is supposed to be able to sing and clap at the same time which I struggle with let alone dodge kicks and reactly swiftly in a chanting hodder. Spanish is coming along in a similar fashion. Although it is difficult to concentrate when there is a group of women practicing samba in their carnivale outfits. Even so, this probably doesn't excuse the following event..

Patty was asking me a series of questions i.e. Do you have family? To which I responded..
"Ci, yo tengo dos enanos".. Now being the intuitive person that I am I noticed that Patty looked completely bewildered and confused. When I asked if what I had said was wrong she asked if I did actually have 2 midgets in my family... No... I don't... but enanos and ermanos do sound similar...

Otherwise my evenings are occupied by my slug and pest control ritual, which involves stealth via torchlight. It astounds me that slugs can actually scale plastic bottles!! I am hoping my Dad doesn't notice that his pale ale supply is rapidly decreasing but if he does I am sure he will be pleased to know that it is proving to be a great slug trap called 'death by beer paddling pool'. Actually.. Dads support of my organic veggie patch has been far from acceptable.. his most recent comment being that if we all tried to farm organically we would all starve. I don't think I would starve. I just think I would have to eat a hell of a lot of tomatos and lettuce over the summer.

What else.. Started some physio work at a couple of practices. Went fishing the other day. Caught a puffer fish and some other minging sea creature. Forgot that when you catch something that you actually have to get it off the hook. Damn those puffer fish.
Other than that just getting back into things. Changing my life plans daily.

Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?

Happy Easter to all. Spent mine in South Wales camping at Cadarn Bunkhouse with about 80 other people for a combined birthday party. Had a fantastic time. Went horse riding which was interesting. Trotting is much harder than it appears and advice such as 'just feel the rhythm' is nigh on useless when all you can feel is jolting through your spine as the pony (mongrel pony might I add) jolts into action without warning. Thank goodness I didn't have to get back onto the horse the next day as my groin/thighs were definately not up to the challenge. Not to mention that when I was delegated my pony who was deceptively named 'Sugar', I was informed that... "Sugar is by himself because he is a little grumpy and doesn't like the other horses"...great. I was fortunate enough to have the honour of mounting this mongrel pony as I had ridden a horse at the age of 5 and was considered slightly more advanced than the 4 other people. Managed to survive two hours of walking/occassional bursts of trots and get back to the farm in one piece. The most challenging aspect of this ordeal for most people was wrenching the horse to stop it from eating grass otherwise you'd receive an earful from the supervisor at the back. Although Rachel/horse whisperer did have a close call as she recalled that as a child she rode a horse and it broke into a canter therefore that qualified her as an 'advanced rider'. It was evident the stablehand didn't agree as she chased Rachel and her horse out of the arena shouting 'stop.. stop.. maybe you should stay in the beginner group'. After being hauled through some brambles Rachel was taken back to the stables where her horse proceeded to do lap after lap without 'rein' (?!?!) instruction .

Other than that.. I am back in Manchester working at St Mary's. Had my flat mates bike stolen on Friday night (was in organic grocery store for 15 minutes and the little vermin nabbed it). Went for a beautiful walk in the Peak District on Saturday. Played with the lambies in the fields and visited a National Trust home/garden. Sunday went for another walk and had a fabulous Sunday roast.

Going to Katrina (ex colleague/house mate) and Matthew's wedding on Saturday evening.

Hope you are all well. Ciao xoxo



Sophie, Ruth, Me and Becky at Rachels Birthday (Theme 'R' or Latino)

Rachel, Ruth, Sophie and Becky... did someone say pout?!?!


Rachel (the horse whisperer).. setting off for Cadarn Bunkhouse...

Jennie all ready for the sun..

You have really kind eyes, you know that?

Thanks. Umm... your hat has sequins.

Have had a fantastic week with Champs and Hannah in Les Gets snowboarding. We managed to choose a week where they had their best snow fall for the whole season. Was a little cold but conditions for landing were much softer!! Fortunately no major injuries were sustained despite a few bruises, whiplash and possibly mild concussion. The potential for much worse damage was there especially after going out until 4am and then being on the slopes at 9am the next morning. We were extremely unsteady on our boards but needed to take some video footage. Unfortunately we weren't carving up the slopes as usual but did manage to stand on our boards for long enough to get some footage. The rest of the morning was spent making snow angels in the fresh snow.

Spotted some seriously awful jumpsuits out on the slopes. I can't work out if it is European cool or really bad taste. I started to think there was a crazy jumpsuit competition going on that I was unaware of. Wouldn't have stood a chance anyway.

Anywho.. just waiting for my 10hr bus journey to bologna where I am spending a week at Ca del Buca organic farming. Hopefully it will be a little warmer.

Hannah, Champs and I on the slopes of Les Gets

Champs donning the celebrity sunnies...

Hannah donning the celebrity sunnies...

Me donning the celebrity sunnies...

Champs in the ever flattering dungarees...

Petition to kill all snorers

I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize!

I am thinking that the bigger the hostel room I stay in i.e. 14 bed dorm the less likely I am to be found out if I smother a snorer with my pillow? Even if I do get locked up sometimes it takes a martyr to start the revolution of change and I am willing to do this for the sake of the many other hostel dwellers out there.

Have arrived in Lisbon after spending a relaxing 24 hours in the hills of the Serra Valley in Portugal with a friends parents. Lisbon seems gorgeous. Am yet to actually explore but from first impression it seems really lively and beautiful. Staying in another Oasis hostel which provides waffles for breakfast... now who is going to complain at that...

Nothing exciting to report. Head up to Porto, Madrid and then going snowboarding for a week and then organic farming. Heading back to Manchester for a while on March 30th.

Granada to Seville

You know what your problem is?

I only have one?

Spent a couple of nights in Granada with a bunch of nomadic hippies wearing fisherman pants and dreadlocks. De La Alahmbra beautiful muslim palace! Waffles for breakfast!



Caipirinha...mmmmm.... at least Rachel if I write it I don't have to pronounce it!


View.

Arrived in Seville today. Met American Brandon. Went to 2nd largest cathedral in ?Europe? Sat in a plaza drinking cerveza (beer) and got shit on... twice. Either really bad luck or really good luck..? Having gazpacho, paella and sangria tonight! Yumboot.

Plastic bags are another thing that should be banned from hostels.

Tapas

You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

You know, for a second there, yeah, I kinda did.

Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.

Went down to El Kiosco last nite for a few beers and some Tapas with Irish Will. Will hadn't had tapas before and didn't really know what they were and I am certainly no expert. The fact that the menu was in Spanish (go figure) and the waiter didn't speak any English meant that our attempt was destined for disaster from the outset. After long attempts of trying to find out what menu item was ie making fish gestures etc I finally went up to the bar and pointed to 2 fishy looking things. Will then went up and came back and reported that he had ordered another three things!! Hmmmm... this meant a lot of tapas.... and stares from the locals. As it turns out,Will had ordered more fishy stuff and potatoes so really we just had a huge portion of spanish fish and chips. From what I could see they didn't sell mushy peas. Agghhh gotta love the culutre....

Fireworks at the Las Fallas festival.... scary.... especially as all the paramedics were wearing hard hats?

Heading off to Granada today on 8 hour bus. Joy of joys.

Beach in Valencia.. beach is a beach really?

He he.. think this might be the queen of valencia or something with all her terribly dressed princesses. Boy did she love the attention. Jumping up and down, waving her arms, cheering on the locals... oh the fan fare...

Barcelona to Valencia

I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.

You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

Arrived in Valencia today and I am in love with this city. Sat in a bar about 3pm and had a coffee and a couple of beers. It was absolutely buzzing with locals drinking and eating tapas (think its called something else at lunch actually).

Very long journey. The train was delayed after supposedly running over an animal? Goddam enormous animal as the train was delayed for about 2 and a quarter hours. Even had a good look for blood and spatterings when I got off the train but there was no sign of any railkill. Either the Spaniards are extremely good at cleaning up dead animals from the front of a train or they were spinning a yarn.

Coming up to Las Fallas in Valencia which means that there are people everywhere and fire crackers going off when and where you least expect them. Sat on the terrace of my hostel in 28 degree heat eating my dinner. First time this trip that I have thought 'this is the life'.
Bar in Valencia...

Farewell Manchester

Hey Romy, remember Mrs. Divitz's class, there was like always a word problem. Like, there's a guy in a rowboat going X miles, and the current is going like, you know, some other miles, and how long does it take him to get to town? It's like, 'Who cares? Who wants to go to town with a guy who drives a rowboat?

I have been in Manchester for a year and have for whatever reason made a very rash, spur of the moment decision to go travelling indefinitely. One could say that I am slightly anxious about the months to come but have unfortunately finished work thus have no other choice but to pack my bags and catch my Wednesday Ryan Air flight to Barcelona. Stupidly I did not consider luggage limits when organising my flight therefore I am restricted to basically a spare pair of underwear and toothbrush for my travels unless I pay an exorbitant amount for a few extra kilos worth. This could actually be a blessing in disguise as I am really struggling to find the motivation to pack. I find that I pack much better under pressure any way.

Have loved Manchester and would recommend anyone to come up here and work if the opportunity arose. Want to just post on my blog a big xoxoxo MWAH xoxoxo to everyone that I have met whilst I have been here...

The past few weeks have been flat out catching up with everyone before I go and thinking that I should really get organised. Had my farewell soiree at Hannah's house last wednesday night which was fabulous. Plenty of food, wine and champagne as usual. Waking up at 0430am to throw up was probably the only downer of the evening... this was probably a result of the half tia maria/half cream and black zambucca shot topped with cream that I had at the Metropolitan. Bad move...

Since I wrote the above text I have actually arrived in Barcelona. Have spent today wandering around looking at lots of Gaudi architecture/buildings, a beautiful park, many shops and Las Ramblas. I am absolutely knackered. I am wondering how long it is going to take for me to go insane if I have to put up with myself for any length of time. Will post some photos soon. Adios Amigos.

Olympic stadium. So desolate. Great views.
Sorry but the rest of my photos of Gaudi etc are on my phone and I can't get them on my computer.

Disturbing

The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.

Disturbing is how I would possibly describe entering the Walkabout last Friday night. Men in wife beaters and Australian flags, group hugging to Men at Work. Pass me a goddam Fosters and give me a free hat... this is going to be a long night. Turns out the Fosters worked as I had quite an enjoyable night and I did score a free hat. Success all round. I still find it amazing that coming from the same state in Australia equates to being long lost mates. Surely the meaning of having something in common isn't naming as many Adelaide suburbs as you can?

Had a fabulous weekend. Met up with lots of friends, ate great food.. including the most amazing chicken roast on Sunday night. This week has been interesting. Continuing with the national celebration theme I went to a 'Robert Burns' dinner on Tuesday night where we ate haggis and deep fried mars bar like any good Scot does. We all attempted to read some Scottish poetry but came to the conclusion that it would make much more sense if we had consumed several more lashings of beer and wine.

No other news. Trying to keep busy. Have been persuaded to attempt a dark chocolate and orange pudding on Friday night which is turning out to be almost as challenging as the vegan pavlova that I have been promised. Cooking cake and having afternoon tea with 'Aunty Shirley' (Nicola from works Aunty) on Saturday. Fish and chips and beach walk on Sunday... yay!

Part time work

This is capoeira, man. This is some hardcore shit.

As it turns out being a locum physiotherapist doesn't in fact pay the bills and I have been forced to seek alternate employment.


Childrens christmas party at St Mary's Hospital.

Ann Summers Party... Wokawow! Hannah dressed as a devil, myself as an army cadet and Jen as an air hostess...

Deemed unsuitable to be an army cadet Claire took on my role whilst I went on to be, more aptly, a massage therapist... If only I could move in my new uniform.

Happy Australia Day!! Work mates kindly decorated the notice board with Australiabilia whilst I took the afternoon off. What better way to celebrate Australia Day than with pavlova! Except sitting in a wading pool, drinking coopers, listening to Triple J's Hottest 100 with the Australian Open in the background...

You can ring my bell...

Alex! Don't let him get away!

It's a round track, Nat, he's not going anywhere!

Just downloaded that song. So sad hey! Nothing much happening. Still organising travel plans. Does anyone want to buy a silver ford fiesta called Eujene? Purrs like a kitten.... You know you want it...

Don't know if you read it in the papers but my social netball team went undeafeted throughout the last season and were presented with medallions on Monday night. Certainly one of the highlights of my netball career. The pre-match tension was palpable but we held it together over the course of the match to win about 50-10. Obviously the 20 or so group emails sent around on Monday devising game plans worked wonders. Overkill springs to mind but at least I have a solid gold medallion for all the trouble. Should sell well in turkey.

It must be the month for awards and ceremony's because I also have the opportunity to gain my 'bronze medallion' in both ballroom and street dance. All I have to do is attend a sunday assessment day and complete a dance routine for each. Ballroom should be fine as long as I have an outstanding lead partner... street dance is another matter all together. I am hoping to up the tempo of 'smack that' enough so that they can't actually tell if I am completing the moves properly. If that doesn't work I am going to maintain that I was using my own artistic dance ingenuity to modify the routine so that it is more in harmony with the rythm and lyrics.

Kate Dalwood... you better have read this blog.

New Horizons

Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second.

Had a much needed quiet weekend. Had a few drinks with Katrina and a few of her mates on Friday night which was uneventful until my bus ride home when I spotted a very drunk, stumbling guy on the pavement which just happened to be my housemate. Swiftly disembarked from the bus, bundled Paul up into a taxi, despite being wrenched around the pavement which was Pauls attempt at dancing. Got home only to be met by Pauls ex house mate Russell who also was worse for ware. Much to Katrina and my disgust they felt it necessary to (rather noisily) listen to music and play the guitar. Fortunately, Katrina took it upon herself to confiscate the much abused guitar that is now missing a string. It is amazing that even though someone can barely speak they can still manage to make risotto pronto without burning the house down. Scary but true.

The rest of the weekend was, as I have said, lovely and quiet. DVD's, duvets and icecream. Had a yummy roast on Sunday with slightly too much red wine but fabulous renditions of Sam Brown 'Stop' and Allanah Myles 'Black Velvet'. At least we thought so.

Have started making plans for my next stint of travel. I will be spending a week in the UK, a few months in Europe and then a couple on months in South America before returning to the UK for Nicola's wedding. I hope to then get some work to earn a bit of cash (I am thinking selling icecream?) and then going off travelling again before heading back to Oz. If anyone has any travel plans in the near future and needs a travel partner let me know and we might be able to work something out.

Cheerio