Reasons against being designated driver

I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

On my reccommendation do not volunteer to be designated driver at a family wedding. What may seem a dignified event is sure to turn into mayhem. Whips and all.



Arrival time: 1300... met with drinks, overlooking the beautiful beach at Port Elliot. Lovely ceremony to join Jon and Dayle in marriage. 1315: downward spiral. But as Tristan said (slurred) at about 1700... 'at least we are on some sort of spiral'. 1500: whip cracking on road 1600: whip cracking in Elliot Hotel beer garden generously pruning the bushes and trees. 1700: Mum, Krystal and Rhianna dancing to lebanese music in her jeep 1800: more whip cracking, Dad receives nasty whip mark on chest thanks to Tristan 1800: Tristan serenades the crowds 1900: Move inside away from the masses 2000: I put my foot down and ask Tristan not to remove tinsel from dart board. State that it is time to leave. 2130: Finally move about 10m out to door to car park only to start up with the bloody whip cracking again.... Finally arrive home to have a well earned glass of wine except everyone is either not feeling to well or off to bed.... Peace at last...!

Not much else happening... Veggie patch coming on nicely. I invited mum and dad to share my beans and zucchini the other night only to be told that... we really need some red meat darling... hence the 1m x 1m lamb chop they proceeded to eat...! Some people just dont see the nutritional value in eating minute, rather dismal looking ORGANIC vegetables. My new philosophy is the smaller and more pathetic looking the better!! Surely the taste is just more concentrated?!?!